Back to Reality

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, but to tell you the truth, I have not forgotten about this blog. I went on the website several times and just stared at it. I could not get myself to write anything. My fingers wouldn't move. I would stare at the clear screen and it would stare back at me with loneliness. I thought about how my voice may not be heard, but at least I know I tried. I feel the time has come to say a few words and to tell the world everything that is in my head, even if it does not respond.

School is coming up and stress is coming with it. Oh how fast those summer days have gone by! It feels like just yesterday I was full of bliss, excited for the opportunity to rest and to do whatever I wanted. Now, those happy thoughts have been taken away and substituted with the sorrow that reality brings. I was not ready to remember what life really is. I was happy in my own world, doing things that made me joyful. In the end, I know this is what is supposed to happen. Life cannot lie; only dreams and fantasies can do that. But it still hurts inside. It hurts to know that that kind of happiness does not last and that disappointment has immunity towards extinction.

I guess it's just the world and its ways. Sometimes I observe others and wonder if they have ever gone through times like this and how they were able to survive it. It seems like it will never end. I'm not going to say that I know it will, because I don't know. It will never end. I can feel that in the depths of my heart. This lifestyle was made for me and I just have to try and live it. I have no other choice.

Decisions

Making decisions is so difficult, especially when your life depends (even partially) on the choice you are trying to make. Sometimes I debate whether having an ample amount of choices available is better than having a select few options. It usually goes down like this: (Me thinking) Well, having lots of choices is helpful because you have the opportunity to do many different things and you are keeping your options open. But wait, the more options you have, the harder it is to make the right decision, and the more disappointed you feel if you make the wrong decision. Why am I even thinking about this? I think I've made the wrong decision in deciding to think about decisions. What am I saying? I think too much.... Yeah, that's what happens when I contemplate the world. I usually end up in a web of ideas. On another note, I love doing work at night. (I know, random huh?) I think that is why I put everything off until it is past midnight. I just like it though. Even doing homework is more fun when I do it at night. It is said that: "Night time is really the best time to work. All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep." I totally agree. I don't want to go too deeply into this topic, though, because it deserves a whole post on its own. Well, I guess I should end it there. Until next time...

Life's Lesson

I came to an important realization today. I learned that a person isn't aware of how valuable something is until he or she loses it. This is true for anything.

Maybe Thomas Hobbes was right. Maybe humans are naturally selfish. Only when you lose in life do you understand what is truly important. Otherwise, it's like the human eye is covered, causing it to be blind, until reality reveals the truth and throws it in your face. Maybe it's humans who conceal the truth because of the desire to ignore it and focus on the sweet dreams that can be seen when reality is asleep. Maybe we don't want to see how cruel life truly is so we isolate ourselves from its thorns.

Being realistic is what is rational, but being realistic all the time kills the soul, for the human heart thrives on hope for all that is good. Victor Hugo once said, "The human soul has still greater need of the ideal than of the real. It is by the real that we exist; it is by the ideal that we live." This is very true indeed. We exist in reality, but flourish in the happy thoughts that flow though the mind.

Here is another quote that can express my point:

"The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened."

Unfortunately, I don't know who said this, but whoever did is very right. There are times when one wishes we lived in a world where only those happy dreams exist. However, we don't and the only option we have is to deal with it. Otherwise, life won't go on and everyone will be stuck inside, looking out the window and watching life pass by without being able to do anything...

Emotional Outbreak

This post is mainly going to be a rant, so be prepared.

I am really angry and stressed. I signed up for something at school just to find out that it is not available. I really really wanted that thing! Ugh. Life is so unfair; that is why I am considering becoming a lawyer. I want to bring as much justice to the world as I can. Then again, there are reasons why I don't want to become a laywer as well. Well, that is besides the point. If I go into my career decision process, my blog will crash. As I was saying, I am angry (if that isn't obvious enough yet). There are several things that are stressing me out. Oh, I should mention that the week ahead of me is going to be killer! I have so much to do. Aaahhh!!

Sometimes I wish there was a device that could measure how much someone's psychological state has deteriorated since the day they were born. I would love to know my result. See? I went off-topic again!

Ok, let me just give a quote to make things better, because a quote always makes everything better. Haha. Here it is:

"The best answer to anger is silence."
-Anonymous

Then there is Maroon 5's version:

"I am in misery,
There ain't nobody who can comfort me.
Why won't you answer me?
The silence is slowly killing me."
-From their song "Misery"

I think I like Maroon 5's perspective more. Anyway, I found this poem. It's meant to describe street children. I love poetry so much. It's like putting emotions into words. Let me know what you guys think. (By the way, it doesn't have a title).

"A child looks at me.
Her eyes are full of emptiness,
Her heart cold as stone.
Her stare pierces through me,
The anger and sorrow transferring to my heart.
Her small feet are bare,
Her small hands shake from the cold.
She is fearful,
Frightened by everyone and everything.
Tears flow down her pale face,
But are concealed my the rain drops.
She cries for her future,
Hoping it will be nothing like her past.
I take a step forward,
But she walks away.
All that remains is the stillness of her cold,
But weak stare.
It hangs in the misty air,
Never to fall back down again..."

I think I will end it at that note. Hopefully I will be sane in my next post. Until next time...

"Tuesdays with Morrie"

No, you are not dreaming. It is indeed another post from me. Hooray!

Anyway, let me move on with the topic of today, which happens to be a book called Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. This is one of the best books I've ever read. It successfully conveys the importance of living a good life and being a well-rounded person. Here is a short summary:

A college student named Mitchell Albom (Mitch) has a brilliant professor, Morrie Schwartz, who he grows to love very much. Once college is over, he promises Morrie that he will keep in touch, but he doesn't-until 16 years have passed. Mitch finally visits Morrie to discover that he is severely ill and that he is going to die in a few months. Devastated, Mitch decides to visit Morrie every Tuesday, hence the name, and have conversations with him, just like he used to in college. As a result, he learns many valuable lessons from Morrie, an old man at the verge of death.

This is yet another book with many inspiring quotes in it. Here are two of them:

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
-Morrie Schwartz

"In the beginning of life, when we were infants, we need others to survive, right? And at the end of life, when you get like me, you need others to survive, right? But here's the secret: in between, we need others as well." -Morrie Schwartz

Aren't those just awesome? Oh, I should mention that this book is a memoir, so it is based on a true story, which just makes it all the more incredible.

CAUTION: Abrupt ending ahead!

That's all I've got planned for today. Until next time...

"Can't Get There From Here"

Fellow Readers,

I know it has been an extremely long time since I have updated my blog. I was pretty busy, but I am aware that is not a good enough excuse. I apologize. Anyway, I am back now and hopefully won't slack off this time.

I recently read a book called Can't Get There From Here by Todd Strasser. It focuses on a group of street children and how they cope with the harsh conditions of the outside world. I think this novel is inspiring more than anything. It reaches straight out to the heart and reveals how difficult life is on the ruthless streets. Here is one of the many fantastic quotes in the book:

"Maggot always said living on the street was a choice. But it wasn't. It was when you ran out of choices." -Maybe (the main character)

The words speak for themselves-no explanation needed. In conclusion, it was a touching book and I recommend others to read it.

Well, that's all I've got for today. Until next time...

Beginning a New Chapter in the Book of Life

Hey everyone!

I am excited to set foot on a new journey through this blog and hope to discover new things about myself. I'm the kind of person who prefers to express thoughts through writing rather than speaking. I find it more comfortable to unravel my ideas on paper, for there are certain things that are easier written than spoken. So, come along with me as I explore the different aspects that make up life.

Sincerely,
E. E. Goings